


starting to remember

by allmywill



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, pop trash era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-07-23 16:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20011273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmywill/pseuds/allmywill
Summary: Pop Trash era: Nick has doubts about the album and the future of the band. Simon reignites an old flame between them, helping to ease his worries.





	starting to remember

**Author's Note:**

> i got inspired because i love Pop Trash, it’s an underrated album truly. let me know if you enjoyed, i love hearing from the lovely people who read my work!

Simon watches Nick at his keyboards underneath the dim lighting of the studio. He looks rather sullen, withdrawn and just not himself. He plays a few notes, messes with his settings every so often, then stares off into space. He hasn’t said a word in hours. Something isn’t right, he’s sure of it.

It’s hard to focus on the new album when all he can seem to do is worry about Nick. He used to get in these moods a lot after John left. His departure didn’t come as a surprise to any of them, yet Nick seemed to have the hardest time dealing with it. He’d go quiet and even disappear during their sessions, only returning when one of them went and pleaded with him to come back. It took time, but he eventually got better. The wound had healed and he started looking happier again.

Simon had grown reluctant to let him out of his sight in those days, always nearby so he could look after him. Now, years later, it’s still engrained in his habits. It’s almost as if he developed another sense; being able to pick up on Nick’s episodes without even speaking to him. The energy in the room even feels off, like a heavy cloud is hanging above them. Maybe that’s why the lyrics and the melodies aren’t coming easy today.

“Why don’t we take a little break, yeah?” Warren comes up behind Simon, patting his shoulder.

The action makes him jump a little, startled out of his thoughts. He turns to the guitarist. “Yeah, alright,” he mutters in reply.

He walks away without another word, exiting the studio and shutting the door behind him. That leaves just the two of them. The silence begins to eat away at Simon’s conscience in the worst way.

Despite Warren’s proposal of a much needed breather for all three of them, Nick doesn’t move from his spot. He just stands there, hunched over the keys, trapped within his own head. He doesn’t even hear Simon’s careful footfalls as he gets out of his chair and crosses the room. He’s a million miles away.

Simon stops beside him and tries to look at his face. His blonde locks are mostly in the way; he can hardly see his eyes. He reckons they aren’t the bright, vibrant green color they are when he’s happy. When he gets in these moods, they appear darker, filled with the pain he’s trying to hide from everyone.

To his surprise, Nick looks up at him. His eyes are brimmed with tears. Simon’s heart damn near stops at the sight of them. “Oh, Nick,” he breathes out. This hurts him, too. “Come here.”

Simon opens his arms for him to walk into. Nick does without hesitation. He wastes no time, wrapping Nick in a warm embrace, to which he reciprocates. His own arms cling to Simon, as if he is stranded in the middle of the ocean and he is a life preserver. He would certainly drown without him.

Nick buries his face into his shoulder, letting the tears flow. Simon doesn’t speak, he just sways him gently, holding him as emotion rips through his body. He needs to know what has him so upset. Whatever it is, it must have been bothering him for a while.

Simon brings a hand up to run his fingers through Nick’s hair. “Could you tell me what’s wrong?” he asks, his voice a mere whisper to the room.

They part just enough so they can see face to face. Nick sighs, deep and heavy. “I don’t think this is working,” he says. His face is clear of tear tracks, until he blinks, and one forms down his right cheek.

“What do you mean?”

“The album, the band, everything. Maybe... those magazines were right. The Wedding Album should’ve been our last.” Nick looks at him sadly.

Simon shakes his head. “Nick,” he starts, but he finds he doesn’t know what to say. His heart is beating out of his chest, because this is, and has been, his greatest fear since John left. “Please don’t do this,” he all but pleads. He feels everything he loves slipping through his fingers.

“Simon, I’m sorry-”

“There is no Duran without you, don’t you get it? You’ve... you’ve been the glue holding it together, holding _me_ together. I can’t lose you, Nick.” Simon feels like he could cry, too. But he wills away the tears for now. He needs to be strong for his band mate.

Simon pulls Nick in again, clutching him even closer than before. He kisses the top of his head, like he used to do many years before, when all five of them were taking on the world together. It seems like yesterday, but another universe entirely at the same time.

“You’re important to our fans,” Simon tells him. He runs a hand down his back, the memories flooding his mind. “Your talent is envied by every other keyboardist in the industry. Your creativity amazes me daily.”

Nick’s breathing has slowed, indicating that the tears have stopped. Simon continues to hold him, never wanting to let go now that he’s so close and warm.

“You’re beautiful.” Simon didn’t expect that to come out, but it did anyway. He decides to roll with it, to say what’s been on his mind. “All those years ago, I never knew why you picked me to fool around with. You could’ve had anyone. You still can.”

Simon feels Nick smile against his shoulder. He smiles as well.

“Oh, shut up,” Nick says, voice muffled. “So could you, _lead singer._ ”

“Seriously, everyone in the band would’ve had you given the chance. Well, not Andy, I reckon, but maybe if he was plastered enough-”

Nick laughs and it sounds a lot like music. The heavy cloud that was looming over them starts to drift away, changing the mood. Nick lifts his head off his shoulder, in favor of looking into his eyes. “You were the only one I wanted that way.”

The memories ebb and flow like ocean tides in Simon’s mind. He remembers all the kisses, the touches, the passion between them, the desperate reaching for one another. Their time together satisfied a craving for a flavor of intimacy that they could only find with each other. It was special, what they had, yet it hadn’t been active for years. He’d give almost anything to have him back in that way again.

“Maybe I still do.” Nick’s voice caresses Simon’s ear like an echo in a dream, but he knows he’s not asleep.

They inch closer, lips almost meeting, until they hear a door opening behind them. Warren catches sight of his band mates, but he’s hardly shocked by the scene before him. “Shit, sorry guys, I’ll just... yeah,” he mutters before dashing back out of the studio again.

Simon sighs happily, backing Nick towards the nearest wall. It’s like their early days again, like nothing ever changed. They’re still on top of the world. “Fuckin’ cockblock.”

Nick draws Simon closer with the front of his shirt. “Forget him,” he says against Simon’s lips. With that, he leans forward and crashes their lips together in a bruising kiss, filled with emotion.

They are transported back in time as they kiss, reliving all those adrenaline filled nights in which they clung to one another. Their hearts beat the same rhythm as they did then; a steady pounding that overtakes the rest of their senses. All they can feel is that same burning passion that’s never truly died, just been forgotten.

When they separate for oxygen, Simon rejoices, for Nick’s tears have dried. He cups his face in his hands, sincere. “We’re gonna finish this album, together. Yeah?”

“Of course we are,” Nick reassures him. “Listen, I’m sorry about what I said. I was... in one of those moods. Got myself down for nothing.”

Simon feels his worries disappear, gone as Nick’s words replace them. “Good, I need you.”

“And I need you.” With that, Nick kisses him again, deep and slow, as if to convey how much he means it. He does, he really does.

 _I love you, I love you, I love you_ : Simon’s thoughts echo. He does, he really does.


End file.
